I hope you don’t mind
Quite possibly one of the realest and deepest music videos I’ve ever seen. All filmed in 1 take. I only heard this song for the first time 30 minutes ago and can’t stop listening to it.
Everest…
@traceanalysis came up with an Everest analogy for me last Friday night. I was at a point where I hadn’t run in two weeks. I was actually scared to get back out there and run again for the fear of the pain my knee may instill on me at any point. The problem was I wouldn’t let myself be ‘okay’ with running any less than 5km. It was like admitting defeat should I not be able to run 5kms whenever I like.
Everest climbers, from a certain point, will climb up a small way, and then back down a small way in order for their bodies to acclimatise.
The idea of running less than 5kms was like going backwards. But in this case I need to go back a small way in able to start going forward again. This week I will run 3kms every second day and that is just fine.
Everest also takes me to another point. Climbing Everest literally means you are on the very top of the world. Wherever you go from there it is downhill. The drive to achieve got you to the top, how do you deal with the comedown now that the descent into reality doesn’t carry anywhere near as much drive? Just like with any massive goal, the come down is like an afterthought. We prepare ourselves mentally and physically for the elation and sense of self pride and self worth that finish line, that summit, that goal, promises to bring. But what happens when the elation simmers, when the celebrations are over and the world comes crashing back to normality?
The most difficult thing about climbing a huge mountain is maintaining the power of the mind, keeping the body going through will alone. I think many of us (certainly I do) get carried away with finding different mountains to climb, goals to achieve, finish lines to cross, without paying much attention to the big sucker right in front of us. Yes, I’m talking about the Everest of life. Most of you will be reading this because you have some affiliation to 12wbt. It’s been pointed out to me that 12wbt has spawned a culture of high-achievers. (Not taking anything away from the program – it’s fantastic, and it changed my life for the better) 12 months ago I had just signed up to 12wbt and I was in awe at all of these people that were tackling mountainous tasks that I never had any intention of doing. I never had any intention to run again let alone participate in fun runs. 12 months on and I’ve allowed myself to become so obsessed and goal driven with my running that I nearly let an injury take away all that hard work and I was on the verge of throwing it all away. All because I didn’t want to accept that my body just isn’t ready to keep climbing at the moment. I never thought I’d run 10km, let alone set my sights on running a half-marathon. With all this goal setting and striving to outdo my previous achievements I was bound to find something that would make me climb back down. Something that would make me take some time to acclimatise. When I signed up to 12wbt I just wanted to lose some weight and be a ‘bit’ fitter and start living a healthy lifestyle. I think so many of us allow our goals to cloud us in and we forget why we set the goal in the first place and what our wider ideal was. For me my fitness goals give me a sense of focus and they help me to commit on another level to a healthy lifestyle. That healthy lifestyle is my wider ideal. It’s the Everest of my life and it encompasses every other smaller goal. I’m sure throughout living this healthy lifestyle there will be hundreds of different goals, races, and finish lines, BUT they will all end, and some may never even start. If we can keep our bodies going through will alone, whether our bodies have nothing or everything to give, we can accomplish whatever we desire.
What’s your Everest? How do you deal with the post-achievement blues?
Shout-out to @traceanalysis for spawning these thoughts and helping me find my comeback trail! xxx
Plans, Control and Goals
This life well its slipping right through my hands,
These days turned out nothing like I had planned.
Control well it’s slipping right through my hands.
These days turned out nothing like I had planned.
- Powderfinger – These Days
After a complete life overhaul last year, and lots of positive plans and goals set for 2012, I’m struggling to reign in my disappointment and frustration over what the last 4 months has delivered. Running kept me sane whilst I saw doctor after doctor for 5 months trying to distinguish what was causing my left arm and shoulder to be in constant pain and completely unusable, to the point where I couldn’t hold anything with my hand. Thankfully, this is on the mend. At the beginning of March I was told to expect it to take 6-12 months of complete rest to mend. There was nothing I could do to help it, or strengthen it, it was just a matter of time. I think this was the point where it became too much. Before 12wbt and all these lifestyle changes I’d made, I’d been told once before that my body would never allow me to run again. Following this, for 18 months I had punished my body with poor lifestyle choices and lack of regard for my health. After taking some time to process what a 6-12 month period of rest – other than running – meant to me and the things I wanted to do, I decided I couldn’t live with that diagnosis and sought more advice elsewhere. It wasn’t just that it was stopping me from doing any upper body workouts, it was stopping me from functioning on a day to day basis. I was at the point where working for 5 hours at a computer would cause me so much pain I had to just go home and sleep for hours on end. It was suggested to me that I try a chiropractor as it was pretty much the only person I hadn’t tried. I began seeing a chiro twice a week and within three weeks I was experiencing more and more days completely pain and tingle free. I had a severely rotated atlas in my neck which was impacting my muscles and nerves and putting them into a complete spaz. 6 weeks later, I’ve been able to resume doing upper body strength again.
Whilst all this had been going on, I was still training for my first half-marathon. Mid-way through February I was ready, and shoulder issues aside the rest of the body seemed to be holding up pretty well. I’d managed to do most of my training according to plan despite the shoulder doing it’s best to stop me, which on some occasions it won out. But I was ready and excited, I just had to maintain for 8 more weeks and Goal #1 for 2012 would have been ticked off. I went out for a cruisey 6km run at the end of February. Mid-way through the run my right knee began hurting, but it would come and go. I was 3km from home and knew I had to keep running if I was going to get home in time to go to work. By the end of the run I could barely extend my knee through each stride and the pain was intense. Close enough to home, I began to walk and the pain only got worse. I literally had to drag my leg to make it home.
At this stage I didn’t know how bad it was and was hopeful that some massage and a few days off would be all it needed. For four weeks all I could manage without pain was 2.5km runs. I began physio treatment on ITB, changed shoes and gradually got back to running 10kms. But it wasn’t painfree and I knew that Run for the Kids (14km) was going to be a struggle and the Half Marathon just 2 weeks after R4TK was definitely in doubt. R4TK came around and Rell and I had agreed to do it together and walk whenever either of us needed to. I managed about 7kms before having to slow to a walk as we went up the Bulti Bridge. From here there were small sections that I could run but we had to stop often and Rell would have to massage my knee just to get it going again. Eventually we made it to the finish line. I knew then that there was absolutely no chance of doing the half in two weeks time. I knew then that this could be a long recovery.
I saw the physio again last week and he found some things that were adding to the issue and placing undue pressure on my ITB. At best he thinks I’ll be able to start running more than 5kms towards the end of May.
This year has already tested me beyond what I thought I could stand. There’s been plenty of times where I’ve wanted to just give up and give in. Part of me wants to take the easy road and leave running and certain goals in the too hard basket. But a much larger part of me still wants to finish a half-marathon. Still wants to train with purpose. And still wants to make the right lifestyle choices. I’ve struggled with food and nutrition since the knee injury came about, I slip into a space where I think I can eat whatever I want and it doesn’t matter because my body isn’t doing what I want it to do so I’ll punish it with crap food and alcohol. I want to move past that, I don’t want it to control me – I want to control it. I want to be better than what I have been. I want to cross the finish line at (hopefully) runmelbourne knowing that I overcame things that nearly broke me. After all that’s happened crossing the finish line of my first half will mean more to me now than it ever could pre-injuries and challenges.
If I learnt anything from 12wbt I need to set myself goals as a way of focus and commitment. I’ve failed to set myself any new goals for a long time so here goes…
1 Month Goals
- Maximum 5km runs 3x week if no pain
- Complete daily exercises and stretches from physio
- Complete 2x strength workouts per week
- Start diarising food again and making healthy choices
- Set study sessions/plans and make good progress through Cert III.
3 Month Goals
- Start back on running program for half-marathon
- Be able to run 10km pain free
- Be able to run 15km pain free
- Complete first half-marathon either RunMelbourne (July 15) or Sandy Point Half (19th August)
- Complete 2x strength workouts per week
- Complete conditioning program once a week
- Maintain healthy eating
- Be close to finishing Cert III
6 Month Goals
- Complete another half-marathon after having already completed first
- Complete 2x strength workouts per week
- Complete conditioning program once a week
- Finish Cert III
- Commence Cert IV
